Should You Send Funeral Flowers
Should you send funeral flowers?
Funeral flowers have been traditional for decades. However, even funerals have trends. Should you send flowers, something else, or nothing?
Significance of funeral flowers
In answering this question, it helps to think about the purpose of flowers at funerals. According to Todd Van Beck, a funeral business consultant, the custom of sending a gift of flowers for a funeral serves these purposes:
- A gift of flowers can express feelings of love and respect for the deceased and extend a feeling of sympathy for the mourners. A funeral without flowers may seem uncaring.
- Flowers add a symbolic and aesthetic element to a funeral. They represent life and beauty.
- Flowers are part of the ritual of a funeral. Grief therapists encourage participation in the rituals and ceremonies associated with death as a way of dealing with grief.
History of funeral flowers
The “language of flowers” dates back to ancient times but received its largest following during the 19th century Victorian era. During that time, flower dictionaries and reference books defined specific meanings for every type of flower species. Emily Post’s 1922 edition of Etiquette provides detailed guidelines for send gifts of funeral flowers.
Selecting flowers
- A freestanding arrangement is best. The family typically selects any spray for the casket.
- The days of limiting funeral flowers to lilies and roses are in the past.
- Most florists are happy to create an arrangement that reflects the personality and taste of the deceased.
- Contact a local florist directly if you have a specific request. Online orders may not look anything like the photo.
- House plants that will live on in the home of the deceased’s family have also become a popular choice for funerals.
The language of flowers
According to FTD, one of the world’s largest floral delivery services, some examples of the traditional language of flowers include:
- Lilies symbolize purity. They also represent the innocence that is restored to the soul of the deceased. The white stargazer lily is one of the most popular flowers for funerals.
- Roses have a variety of meanings depending on the color. Red roses symbolize love and courage, while white roses convey innocence and youth.
- Gladiolus stalks represent moral integrity, strength of character and sincerity. These beautiful stalks can add a touch of elegance to any sympathy arrangement.
- Chrysanthemums, especially the white variety, represent death and mourning in many European and Asian cultures.
Flowers or donations
- No request: Flowers are usually welcome. Note that the presence and type of flowers varies by religion. If you are not sure about what is appropriate, contact the funeral service provider or a family member.
- Request “In lieu of flowers”: Some people request a charitable donation to be made “in lieu of flowers.” In this case, a donation should be made. You may still consider sending flowers.