What to Know about Home Funerals

What is a home funeral

When someone dies or is about to die in the United States, most people assume that they need to engage a funeral home. There are actually more funeral options available. One of these options is a home funeral. Home funerals are not a common practice in the US. But as recently as 150 years ago, it was the norm. Families handled most of their own health matters, from birth to death. Undertakers became prevalent during the Civil War when numbers of people were dying away from home and were frequently transported back home. In addition to handling volume, undertakers offered preservation.

The most common elements of a home funeral are:

  • Preparation and dressing of the body
  • Viewing of the body
  • Funeral service
  • Burial on private land (optional, as permitted by law)
  • Death related paperwork

A Family Undertaking, a PBS documentary available at Netflix, conveys both the process and experience of home funerals. It also demonstrates how home funerals differ from conventional, commercial death care.

Why do a funeral at home

Given that a home funeral is likely unfamiliar and daunting, why would anyone chose to do it? It turns out that there are many reasons.

  • Comfort: A home funeral can be comforting to both the individual who is dying and the family who will cope with the death. The decedent may have requested a home funeral, taking comfort in the idea of being tended by loved ones in a familiar environment. For the family, home death care is the last opportunity to care for the decedent’s physical form.
  • Closure: People using commercial death care are somewhat isolated from the reality of death. Participating in death care can integrate death into life. A home funeral allows more “face time” with the deceased. Home funeral professionals, like home care advocate Nancy Poer in A Family Undertaking, state that people who participate in home funerals tend to heal faster emotionally.
  • Control: When people relegate death care to a commercial funeral provider, they are isolated from much of the process. They may not have the opportunity to understand what happens to their loved one’s body, what decisions they can make and how they can contribute. For example, the practice of embalming can be controversial.
  • Multi-culturalism: The American view of death and death care is changing as cultures become integrated and share traditions.
  • Flexibility: Families using a death care provider are subjected to a standardized sequence of events and time frame. Home funerals have more flexibility regarding both.
  • Cost savings: Commercial funeral providers charge for the services performed in a home funeral: preparation and dressing of the remains, viewing of the remains, etc. In addition, a funeral home viewing incurs the cost of embalming. While home funeral providers may charge for their services, the cost is typically low, The cost depends on what services are requested. Ex. A doula can help prior to death. You may also be able to find home funeral volunteers.

For more reading, author Max Alexander provides a personal story of home funerals.

Whether to do a home funeral

If you are debating whether to request a home funeral, lead one or even to participate in one, there are some aspects to consider.

  • Regulations: Every state allows home funerals. At the same time, you will need to understand both death and home funeral regulations in your state. Regulation will encompass rights, procedures and paperwork. If your state requires a funeral director, you will still be able to undertake certain activities.
  • Health: Home funerals are not possible when death involves certain infectious diseases. If you have concerns, speak to the physician who signs the death certificate. Home funerals are also difficult if the body is in poor physical condition at the time of death.
  • Support: If you want a home funeral for yourself, you will need commitment from loved one’s to execute your funeral. If you are planning a home funeral for someone else, you will want the assistance of others. You can engage a trained death doula. You may be able to engage with an funeral care provider to plan the funeral that you desire. Be sure to confirm a funeral home’s exact willingness and cost to work with you before committing.

What are the legal factors in a home funeral

A home funeral is legal in all states. However, your state may have restrictions on home funerals. Foremost, states are concerned about public health. For example, a home funeral may not be allowed if the decedent had an infectious disease.

You will also be required to adhere to all other state funeral regulations, For example, some states require the involvement of a licensed funeral director.

According to Funeral Consumer Alliance, the states that currently require a licensed funeral director are:

  • Connecticut
  • Louisiana
  • Indiana
  • Michigan,
  • Nebraska
  • New Jersey
  • New York

Some states, like Texas, require a funeral director – but not a licensed funeral director. An individual can act as a funeral director as long as no money is rendered.

State statutes for funerals will govern:

  • Involvement of a funeral director
  • Transportation of the body
  • Time frame for disposition
  • Cemeteries
  • Death related paperwork
  • Home funerals

How to request a home funeral

If you would like a home funeral for yourself, you will need to provide explicit instructions. It isn’t required by law but will be needed by the person who has agreed to execute your home funeral wishes. You should have your plan notarized so that it is protected in states that recognize funeral directives.

How a home funeral occurs

  • Transportation: If the individual dies away from home, the remains are transported home. Most medical and nursing facilities will assume that a family wants its loved one transported to a funeral home. So it will be necessary to notify them of the plan for a home funeral in advance. Transportation can often be done by the family with a permit. Otherwise, a licensed death care provider can be engaged.
  • Notification of support team: When the individual dies or is close to death, you will want to notify your home funeral support team so that they can make arrangements to be present and assist.
  • Notification of police: The police will need to be notified if death occurred at home. There are immediate steps to take when someone dies.
  • Preservation: The body can be preserved temporarily using cooling methods available in the home, namely air conditioning and ice packs. You can also have a funeral home keep the body while you plan your home funeral. However, there will be a cost for refrigeration.
  • Disposition: Most states require that disposition occur within 2-4 days typically.
  • Paperwork: As with a commercial funeral, death related paperwork is required.

Resources

The resources available for home funerals are increasing with acceptance and increasingly available through the Internet. They are also sometimes called “do-it-yourself funerals”.

  • Home Funeral Directory lists home funeral guides for most states.
  • Funeral Consumer Alliance exists to help people execute affordable and personal funerals, whether a traditional funeral or a home funeral. It has affiliates in most states who may be able to assist with home funerals.
  • Final Passages instructs families about alternatives to commercial funerals.
  • National Home Funeral Alliance aligns families with home funeral professionals.
  • State health departments will know about death care regulations and documentation.

 

You Might Also Like:

Learn the Language

  • Coffin

    A shaped container for human remains – wider at the shoulders.