How to Participate in a Home Funeral

There are different ways to participate in home funerals. Team members may decide to be involved in some or all activities.

Touching: Jerri Lyons, a home funeral advocate, calls this event “passing through the doorway of fear”. Most of us are not used to death, let alone dead bodies. We don’t know what to expect and lean toward the easier path: doing nothing. But Ms. Lyons reports that once people get past the first touch, it is easy to touch the decedent lovingly, just as in life.

Washing & Dressing: Washing is usually done as a last personal gesture to the decedent and is often considered ritual. Undertakenwithlove.com goes into detail about how to do this efficiently and respectfully. The loved one can be dressed in favorite clothing, although it can be difficult to dress a body. Some people opt for looser clothing.

Casketing: The body is usually buried or cremated in some sort of enclosure, ranging from a casket to a shroud. People often create these enclosures themselves, while others decorate them with meaningful images and messages. People will also bring mementos to place inside the enclosure along with the body.

Gathering: People congregate during home funerals to assist and celebrate the life of the decedent in the process. Recounting the traits, contributions and adventures of the decedent can bring much needed release and even humor. A service, either formal or informal, may also be included. Those who aren’t able to participate in the other steps may at least be able to attend a service.

Lisa S.
August 22, 2010