Are Funeral Flowers Still Appropriate?
 Flowers have played an important role at funeral and memorial services in many cultures throughout history. In America, the proper use of flowers at funerals was at one time dictated by rules of etiquette. Emily Post’s 1922 edition of Etiquette provides detailed guidelines for send gifts of funeral flowers. In our modern times, many of the old rules have fallen by the wayside. Are flowers still appropriate for a funeral?
In answering this question, it helps to think about the purpose of flowers at funerals. According to Todd Van Beck, a funeral business consultant, the custom of sending a gift of flowers for a funeral serves these purposes:
- A gift of flowers can express feelings of love and respect for the deceased and extend a feeling of sympathy for the mourners.
- Flowers add a symbolic and aesthetic element to a funeral. They represent life and beauty. A funeral without flowers is a more mournful event.
- Flowers are part of the ritual of a funeral. Grief therapists encourage participation in the rituals and ceremonies associated with death as a way of dealing with grief.
All of these purposes are still relevant. Flowers are most definitely still popular and appropriate at a funeral. Are some arrangements better than others? Not really. The days of limiting funeral flowers to lilies and roses are in the past. Even bright floral arrangements are now acceptable at a funeral. Most florists are happy to create an arrangement that reflects the personality and taste of the deceased. House plants that will live on in the home of the deceased’s family have also become a popular choice for funerals.
Some obituaries request a charitable donation to be made “in lieu of flowers.” In this case, a donation should be made. If a mourner then wishes to make a more personal expression of sympathy and respect, a gift of flowers is appropriate and will contribute to the beauty of the funeral service.
Catie W.
September 20, 2010
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